Feb 24 2008
The True Secret To Having A Marriage That Will Not End In Divorce
A marriage or any other relationship whether it be a friendship or intimate relationship between two people can only endure if it has love flowing through it. Today’s marriages are failing at record levels in the western world, recent statistics show that in the United States alone that almost half of marriages there end in divorce. Marriages cannot endure without love and it seems that the world is lacking a lot of love today. Jesus Christ predicted that in the last days “the love of many would wax cold” (Matthew 24:12). It certainly seems like the love of many is waxing cold if we look upon today’s world. With all the divorces and broken families in today’s world, it seems as though things are getting worse and worse and that the world is in a famine for love, love is lacking and we are in a drought for it.
Many women often get their hearts broken when their marriages fail and their husband leaves them for another woman, and leaves her with children to raise and a mortgage to pay off. If love was the ingredient continually being poured into the relationship and family, these husbands would never leave their family behind because love would bind the family together forever, because love never fails. Husbands and wives seeking posh careers and materialism to satisfy and keep their family happy are heading for disaster; the lust of the eyes never satisfies and always fails to create happiness. Materialism, coveting and bigger houses don’t have the ingredients to keep a family bonded together, only pure love can create the spiritual ribbon that keeps a family tied together for eternity.
On Television through TV commercials they show families purchasing a new car fresh from the car dealer, and it shows the family smiling and getting into the car and paints a picture that the new four wheel drive will make your family happy, and be good for the overall future of the family. Television is full of the concept that materialism will save your family and satisfy them. Materialism and its plastic false happiness are paraded all over the media, and it’s always promoted as the key to being successful in life.
What is success?
Does success mean having a big house and driving the latest four wheel drive, and having a husband who is never home because he is always working late hours to pay off all the flashy possessions?
Does success mean having a husband who stays up late to have sex with his secretary, while his wife lies in her bed wishing her husband would show her love like he did in the beginning of their marriage?
Does success mean that a husband and wife work seven days a week to pay off credit card debts, while the children get fobbed off at a childcare center’s and are raised by strangers who raise them in a scientific and technical way, so that the kids turn out like robots and never develop a real intimate relationship with their parents?
I met an African man recently who migrated to Australia where I live, and he told me something that echoed in my mind for a longtime. I was at a local bar in the city having a couple of drinks and we started talking, and I asked him why he migrated to Australia, and he told me that he came to Australia to have a better life, and to seek happiness and security through the economic and employment benefits Australia had to offer. I asked him if he was happy about making his decision to come to Australia, and he told me that when he was living in Africa in poverty that he was more happy there than he was in Australia. He told me that he was working so hard and was chasing money and materialism that he didn’t have time for the important things in life. He said that his poverty stricken family who were living in Africa was happier than he was. His family in Africa was living in poverty, but they loved each other with a deep and pure love that kept them bound together and bubbling with joy. Flash cars and big houses don’t keep you bubbling with joy, they might tickle your eyes for a bit of time but the novelty wears off, and you start to realize that the big houses and flash cars cannot fill the empty space in your heart that you long to fill.
People try and fill the emptiness in their lives with possessions; they think if they can have a better car than their neighbor’s that will make them and their family happier, they measure success on how much financial gain and possessions they can acquire. People are trying to fill the emptiness of their hearts with the things of this world, Jesus said,
“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” (Matt 4:4). Bread is what we eat and bread can also symbolize the physical things we try to fill ourselves up with such as; the fancy cars and fancy fashionable clothes we buy to fill the emptiness in our lives, but these things never fill us up they only tickle our eyes and senses for a little bit. Only true eternal love from God can fill the emptiness in our hearts and make a relationship work. God is love and God is the words in the bible, in the bible it says, “In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God”, so if God is love in its purest form then that means that the words written in the bible are love in its purest form, because God is the words in the bible and God is love in its purest form.
People cannot satisfy themselves with fancy cars and big houses alone, and they cannot be satisfied and live a meaningful existence without knowing God and his words of pure love. The words of God in the bible are like the tunes of a song that we dance to. If you picture your walk in life as dancing to music, if you dance to the word of God you will dance with a loving flow of pure bliss and joy, but if you dance to the tune of seeking materialism and power you will find yourself dancing like an erratic robot with no substance or emotion, you will become shallow with no depth or flavor, your dance to life will become dry and without richness and emotion. It is the spirit that quickens and makes things alive; the things of this world and the flesh profit nothing.
I remember walking through the city of Sydney in Australia one day, and I looked at peoples eyes; these people were on their way to work, and as they marched to work in the morning they looked like robots, they looked like they were hypnotized and unaware of what was happening around them. The whole system has regulated people and the people aren’t aware that most of the time they are in a zombie like state, they are on auto-pilot and barely have enough time to look at a beautiful rose in a garden and appreciate Gods handiwork, they don’t even have time to look at the beautiful endless blue sky and just lose their thoughts in it. As society invents new devices and gadgets that speed life up more and more, and society make’s the claims that these devices make us happier, we seem to be just getting more and more miserable instead of happier. Fast cars, fast computers and fancier gadgets seem to be making life more miserable rather than more enlightening. Kids don’t need new computer games to replace time that could be spent hugging their mothers and bonding with their fathers. Kids need loving and enlightening bonding between both parents, buying a child the latest play station video game is like buying a barrier that keeps you separated from your child.
Parents who work two jobs because they say they want the best for their kids usually fob their kids off at a daycare centre, and the kids get raised by strangers and most of the time the kids are watching television and they become brainwashed conditioned children, who look to the TV for guidance instead of seeking their parents for guidance. The parents say they are looking out for their families’ best interest, when they both take up busy full time jobs to save up finances to buy fancy things and send their kids to a private school, but statistics show that many marriages where the wife and husband are working fulltime have their marriages fail. The marriage fails and the husband and wife suffer, and then the children suffer. The children become involved in an emotional tug of war between the father and mother and this psychologically damages children for life.
When I was a young child my parents divorced and had an emotional tug of war over me, and it really damaged me psychologically, I started taking illegal drugs to numb the pain and confusion that my parents divorce had on me. We were a reasonably wealthy family, we lived in a beautiful big house and had fancy expensive cars, but the relationships in the family were failing, my parents marriage was failing and me and my brothers relationship with my parents was also failing. The money we had and the beautiful house and other things we had did not save my parents marriage. Bank accounts lose value, cars rust, houses corrode, and shares shrink, bonds fade away, but only love endures. Our family lacked love because we didn’t know God. God is love and if you want love in your family and relationship you need to know God. With God it’s almost impossible for a relationship to fail, because with God nothing is impossible as it says in the bible.
Better cars, bigger houses and fancier modern technology only give us a plastic and counterfeit peace of mind, they only satisfy for a few moments. These things can never make us happy and bring security to a marriage and family. A husband needs to have an eternal perspective towards his family, that which is seen is temporal but that which is unseen is eternal. Love is unseen but it’s a powerful force and a potent ingredient in keeping a family and marriage together.
God is love in its purest form, and love is what keeps a relationship and family bound together for eternity. There’s a famine for love that seems to be killing this generation, because people have forgotten and don’t understand what true love really is. A relationship without God cannot exist in love; because God is love. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”(1 John 4:7-8). Since God is love, the best way to find out what love in its purest form is; is to develop a personal and spiritual relationship with God and ask him to fill you with his abundant spiritual pure love without measure. When God begins filling you with his love you can then begin to pour it out onto your spouse, children and other people you care about. Many marriages fail because one of the parties says they don’t love the other one anymore, because the marriage has become dry and there’s a draught for love in the relationship. When there’s a draught for water the first thing you do is go to a plentiful river with a bucket to collect more water, well if your marriage is suffering from a draught for love the best thing to do is go to God, because God is the biggest river of love you could possibly find. God will not turn you away, if you ask sincerely for more love in your relationship God will give you a reason to love your spouse, and God will even make the good times you had in the past resurface again, and he will make you closer to your spouse than you have ever been before. But in order for the relationship to be successful and full of love, both the man and woman need to have their heart, mind and soul switched on to Gods channel. For a man and woman to exist in love for eternity they must have their heart in heaven with God. Jesus said, “Do not store up treasures for yourself on earth, for where your treasure is that’s where your heart will be also.” For a relationship to last for eternity and be a meaningful and loving relationship, both the husband and wife need to have their hearts committed to God, so they can receive Gods pure love in abundance.
When a husband and wife don’t have a relationship with God, or one is committed to God and the other neglects God, then the relationship eventually becomes dry and loses its flavor. God must be number one in any relationship, He must be the most important thing in a marriage, because God is pure love and if somebody doesn’t fully know God, then they don’t know pure love and they cannot give their partner pure and true love, because if you don’t know God you don’t know what love is.
Sometimes marriages fail because the husband and wife feel they have no more love to give one another; they can’t handle the marriage any longer because it doesn’t mean anything. The husband buys a fancy new car to drive his wife around in and its fun and it tickles his fancy for about a week, but after then the car just becomes another prop in the lifeless, dry and loveless relationship he is in. Physical things will not replenish and bring to life a dead and dry relationship, only the unseen spiritual things of God can replenish a relationship in draught. Jesus said that whoever believed in him, rivers of living water would flow from their bellies. If a marriage has Jesus Christ as its cornerstone, who was the image of the invisible God, then the husband and wife will have rivers of love flowing from their spiritual being onto one another, and they will find they have more love to give each other than they ever did before.
People often get their ideas, concepts and definitions of love through watching television, they watch
In the bible it says that we can receive love in its purest form when we call out to God and ask him to fill us with his Holy Spirit. One of the key fruits of the Holy Spirit is love, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23).
People will often laugh and think that calling out to God and asking to receive more love to give, and to ask for more love to be poured into a relationship is an unbelievable fable that is not true. But I implore you to give it a try, I was a person involved with drug dealing and I was bad tempered and violent at times for a longtime. When I asked Jesus Christ who is the image of God into my spirit, I developed a personal relationship with God and I was able to ask him things, and I asked him to give me love and to change me. I wanted to stop being a cold person, and I wanted to become more loving to the people around me. When I asked God to give me more love, I received a lot more love in my heart to share with others, and people who had known me before said they were amazed at the change that occurred within me, many people told me I was like a new person. In the bible it says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17). I really feel like a new creature, I feel like a being of love and a genuine new creature in Christ that has a lot of love to share with others.
Instead of getting our idea’s of what love is from the television set, here is the definition and true meaning of love described and illustrated in the Holy Bible which is the word of our great God who is love Himself:
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
Every time I read the word of God in the Holy Bible it really touches my heart and lasts forever. I was listening to a Celine Dion song from the Titanic movie recently and I heard a line in the song that said, “Love can touch just one time and last for a lifetime.” When I read about love and anything else in the Bible it touches me and lasts for a lifetime. I’m sure if you have read the above definition of love from the Holy Bible, it will be remembered in your mind and heart for a lifetime, because true love never dies, and all the words from God in the Bible are true love, because God is the Word, and God is love.
If you would like to bring more love into your life I would like to invite you to pray the following prayer, and I’m sure if you called out to God with your whole heart in this prayer, he will send an angel to deliver you a flask of pure love that will last you a lifetime:
Dear Jesus,
I believe you are the image of God and that you died on the cross for me, I believe you are love in its purest form and you gave us a message of love and hope, please come into my heart and fill me with your Holy Spirit, so that I can share love and give love to the people around me.
James is one of two people that operate a site at http://www.escapeministries.net Escape ministries is a place where people can be ministered to over the internet, by reading articles, watching videos and receiving personal prophetic words. James and Matthew invite you to visit today to look at some of the articles they have collected and watch some of the video teachings they are setting about to produce for you. You are encouraged to sign up for our monthly newsletter or simply email James or Matthew with any of your comments. We hope that you might bookmark it and come back to visit often as we pursue our mission statement that is found on our home page.
You can visit and view their video’s live at youtube by going direct to http://www.youtube.com/EscapeMinistries
Tags: Divorce
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